Tuesday, December 30, 2008

What are you ashamed of?

Shame. . . it is a word we all know.

What are things we are ashamed of?

  • Our Failures
  • Our Past Mistakes
  • Our Parents
  • Our Children
  • Our Jobs
  • Our Spouses
  • Our Financial Standing
  • Our Decisions
  • Our Abilities

We go through life with regrets and things that we wish we would have done differently. These things, as I have discussed before, define us really. Without the actions of yesterday, we can't take actions today. In my bible study today, I read the following:

1 Phillipians 1:20 & 21 KJV
According to my earnest expectation and hope, that in nothing shall I be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ should be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

1 Phillipians 1:20 & 21NCV
I expect and hope that I will not fail Christ in anything but that I will have the courage now, as always to show the greatness of Christ in my life her on earth, whether I live or die. To me the only important thing about living is Christ, and dying would be profit for me.

1 Phillipians 1:20 & 21 The Message
I can hardly wait to continue my course. I don't expect to be embarrassed in the least. On the contrary, everything happening to me in this jail only serves to make Christ more accurately known, regardlesss of whether I live or die.They didn't shut me up; they gave me a pulpit! Alive, I'm Christ's messenger, Dead, I'm his bounty. Life versus even more life! I can't lose.

This scripture setting is when Paul is in jail and he is essentially saying, you may imprison me as a person, but you cannot imprison what God has done in me and will do through me. We can't wait until someone 'imprisons' us before we really look at what it means to proclaim Christ and what he means to us.

What this says to me is that I am to be ashamed of nothing, especially my relationship with the Lord.

Isn't it easier to talk to people about the new gift you got for Christmas, how your kids are doing in school or where you are going on vacation than to tell someone about the love of Jesus. People who don't know Jesus as Savior don't mind telling us their stories of how they live their lives and the personal choices they make. So, while we should not shove our beliefs down the throat of others, we should look for openings in conversations to be able to share our relationship with Christ and the difference it has made in our lives.

In the book of Acts, when the Holy Ghost, came to dwell in the believers, it gave them power to proclaim who and what God is. Acts 1:8 "But you shall receive power after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you; and ye shall be witnesses unto me. . . .and unto the uttermost parts of the earth"

We should never be ashamed of the blood that Jesus shed for us, without it , we would be not only miserable inside, but lost for eternity. I am so thankful, and I pray that in the coming days, that God give me a boldness like never before to share what He has done in my life. I am thankful for repentance, for baptism in Jesus Name and for the infilling of the Holy Ghost. Without Him, I am nothing!



Tuesday, December 23, 2008

My crazy life...

What a Wonderful Weekend. . .
We are such a blessed family. We have incredible friends, an incredible church and an amazing family. Our weekend started off so full of fun. We received a gift of a night at the union station hotel in Nashville. It was spectacular. We ate at J Alexander’s downtown, which was awesome! The only complaint (which is my complaint only, Brad was excited about this part because apparently, I am a bed hog) is that the bed was so big I felt like I was sleeping alone. I missed my husband…

Saturday morning I had planned a surprise from Brad. We met an old friend (and a new one) for breakfast and it was a great time sharing what the Lord is working in our lives. We ended up spending three hours together and I am thankful that God has re-introduced these folks into our lives for this time of growth and strength to each other.
The rest of the day, we spent the day finishing some Christmas shopping, meeting the Pastor and family for some lunch, and watching the movie “7 Pounds”. This movie was hauntingly sad but really showed love and compassion that I’ve not seen in a Hollywood film in a while. I would recommend it to you for the simple fact of it makes you think about what you have and that we should treasure it.

Sunday morning we had an awesome church service. I have included some pictures of where the Carter’s decorated the place for Christmas. It looks so pretty and the work they put into it shows.

Sunday afternoon brought the first Christmas celebration to our home. Chris and Leigh and Marlena came down and we had ham and meatloaf, mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, pretzel salad and chess cake bars for lunch. Present time was a blast, as always. We truly realize how blessed we are to have family that loves and cares for us. Seeing the kids get a ton of neat stuff was fun to watch.

The kids played video games all afternoon and then we watched Wall-E, which is now a family fave.

So, our weekend was good. . .and it was a good thing, because Monday was yucky for the most part.. but the ending was good. We took the fam to O'Charleys and I did the photo shoot seen here despite the non-cooperation of my family. Brad finally put his hand over his face so I would quit taking pictures.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

"A Long Winter's Nap"

Well, somehow I lost two hours while on the couch this afternoon. Maybe it was the greyness of the day, or the warmth of the throw but I was out like a light. It is so odd to drift off to sleep and then awaken in the dark and think, just for that second, where am I and how did I get here. That little jog back into reality gives you cause to look around the house, make sure the kids are good and the doors properly fastened. Of course, I discovered Caitlin is STILL shopping with her friends and Logan is still at the computer and Brad went back to work after his lunch, so all is well in the castle we call Deason. No need to let the dragon out to slay something in the moat, all is well, all is well.

It has been a while since I blogged and I have missed it. Some mornings I sit down to do it and so many thoughts go through my head, I am not sure which one to go with, not sure if the emotions I am feeling should go on paper (i.e. the internet) for the world to see. I can't imagine blogging and then going back two hours later to try and delete a thought and hope no one read it yet. I have figured out something great about blogging that I am sure my husband prays daily I will apply to my oral communication. Be careful what you say, your words mean something. It is easier when we talk to not care if we mean something, but when the words are in stone, it feels different.

I was mad at my husband this morning. Usual man stuff, just not 'helping' me the way he should, in my so humble opinion. I didn't want to like him, I did love him though. As the day wore on, the anger faded and I found myself almost disappointed, do you ever feel that way? Like you want to be mad and maybe pick a fight to see if you can win it? That is the mood I had on this morning. So we were instant messaging and he said something funny and I told him, "Quit trying to make me like you" to which he has some witty, stupid comment and before I knew it, not only did I like him again, but I was laughing and wishing that our morning had been better. That was a 'piece of life' that I can never get back as my husband likes to say. Was it worth being mad and not communicating and spending time together? No. . This same husband whom I fell asleep on during his lunch break, instructed Logan"Let your mom sleep". Now I am going with this was done in love and not in hopes that after a nap I would be more pleasant to be around..LOL

I've included a picture from last Sunday, December 14th. We are starting to look smaller (especially him). He started before the surgery at 416 and last Saturday(weigh day) he was 341 so he is down 75 lbs. now. Which is awesome and crazy at the same time.

Also I have included, as one of my friends calls it, (thanks stu) a shameless plug for the sermon Brad preached on Sunday. The message can be found here at http://www.churchofchampions.com/current_series_at_church_of_champions.html

As I have discussed before, I know I am not the poster child for preacher's wives, nor do I think I want to be. I think that those of us who have a relationship with Christ need to grow and accept people for who they are and not what we think they should be. For those who don't know Christ, is important that those of us who don't quite fit the mold of 'Sunday school teacher' ' pastor's wife' 'sanctified sally' can show the world the Love of Christ and let them know that it takes loud mouths and people who are not perfect to round out the posse for Jesus. I am proud of who I am and I have grown and learned a lot in the last 4 years. I have learned about who I am and who I want to be.

My husband said on Sunday, when you say you want to be a God Chaser and you sincerely mean it, then God is going to start cutting the things out of your life that keep you from putting Him first. This was my favorite thing. I am excited that I can look at my life and see the parts that God is cutting out and filling in with His plan for me.

I hope everyone has a wonderfully blessed Christmas and a prosperous New Year, just in case I get lazy and don't blog before then.

Much Love!


Wednesday, December 3, 2008

For Brad. . . Be Still and Know Part Deux

Crazy Kids
Loving Boy
Our Party... Gotta love em'
Love this one!

Today this is for Brad. If no one else read it, that's okay. Brad you are the love of my life. You are the steady rock in my storms. I know that today is rough but I also know that as always, we will face this together. I dug out some wedding pictures and have been sitting here laughing about that day. Smiling at the joy on our faces and laughing at some of the photos of Stephen and Jeri Beth, man are they crazy! I just wanted to post a few pics from that day and brighten your spirit with them. We are still going to do as always, Be Still. . . .

I love you!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Upon this Rock. . . I will freeze my toosh

We have this rock at church. It is outside the building and is huge. I love to take pictures on it. So much so that one church goer told me last week he is going to put a sign up that this rock belongs to the Deason's. Kinda like a designated parking space. Anyway, this rock is where we took our first picture for our weight loss journey which at the time was a great idea. . . well now, it is time to take pictures again and I have discovered that every 6th Sunday the rock seems to get a bit colder. Oh well, I have about three more times of that before it starts to warm up, right? LOL

This is our first picture - October 2008

November 20, 2008 - Not mad - just cold booty. .

November 20, 2008 - Thinking warm thoughts

Friday, November 28, 2008


My Wonderful Family!

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving yesterday. The kids went with Bill to Central City around 9am and I headed down to Brad's moms to help cook. It was wonderful for me and Leigh and her to just hang out and cook in the kitchen together. The food I snuck while 'cooking' was pretty amazing as well. My favorites at 'Gran Gran's' house are the Pretzel Salad and Deviled Eggs. I had plenty of both.

Here is Brad with his Turkey Portion....Just Kidding, he got more than that

We had eaten and cleaned everything up by 1pm so you know what I did, took a nap. I love me some naps on Thanksgiving Day (well, everyday, but this day its traditional for me)

Me and my buddy Hunter napping after lunch. . .

Several friends and family stopped by throughout the day and we had a great time catching up with everyone. We left there around 4 and we headed home to get ready to go to my cousins for the Dinner meal.

We headed to Cadiz around 6pm and got to visit with all my aunts and cousins I don't see as often as I would like. My mom's famous german chocolate cake and some really awesome ham topped my list of favorites in the eats department. As we always do, Lori and I got to reminicing about how crazy we were as kids and how much our kids are going to be just like us. . . scarey. We got back home around 11pm and I pretty much called it a day! I am so thankful for the blessings we have and am so proud of my husband and kids!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Monday Morning Blah Blah Blah

Sorry, today is going to seem like I threw-up on paper. That is how my head feels anyway. I have so many thoughts and feelings churning up here that I cannot imagine that this will even make sense. So, I started to write nothing. But then these thought would churn all day and I would be way less productive.

I have been very busy lately and some of that is real and some of it is because I don't prioritize well and then I get stressed and then I get testy.. you can see how this, after a few weeks of going in circles, can end badly. Well, yesterday, it did. Brad and I got in an argument (on the way to church, of course) that lasted all the way through church. It was over something really stupid and all it resulted in was hurt feelings and us both feeling inadequate as partners in this team. Yesterday for teamdeason it was a swing and a miss...several times.

Here are some things I am trying to learn:
  • Get your work done when it is work time, then you won't be stressed so much at the end of the day
  • Be thankful for the little things, they really do mean alot
  • Don't expect others to read your mind, heck, most of the time I have a hard time understanding my crazy ideas. . .
  • Enjoy the down time, don't make it so complicated
  • A good book and a nap can do wonders for your stress level
  • So can a bubble bath
  • Never underestimate how being tired affects your decision making
  • Love your family and your friends, they are the ones who put up with you all the time
  • If you feel overwhelmed by your workload - break it down into sections and tackle it one section at a time
  • Watching a kid movie in 3-D makes you smile (and jump sometimes)
Thanksgiving is Thursday and this is a short work week for me, so there is a ton to do. . I am going to try and take the advise from a very wise and Godly man, the apostle Paul. Colossians 3:23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men. . .

I am going to try and do everything this week as unto the Lord: my work, my home, my cooking, my patience, my love . . . wish me luck and say a prayer!

Have a great week!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Breakfast with Brad

This morning Brad & I went to breakfast at Holiday Burgers. We only do that about once a month, mainly because Brad works second shift and is usually up late and wakes a bit late. There is something about having breakfast with just the two of us, that makes the day go better. I so enjoy when we connect on this level, that is when we seem to talk about our hope and our dreams and our successes and our failures.

It is so odd for us to go out to eat now that he has had his gastric bypass. He ordered one egg, scrambled and had 1/2 a piece of my bacon and part of a piece of toast. It is so strange when the waitresses look at this big guy and he orders one egg. You can tell they want to say, are you sure sir? but they don't.

We split a kids meal at O'Charley's the other day and asked for an extra plate. The server gave us a look that cracked us up after she left the table. We usually explain and then this light bulb goes off inside that you can just about see. . . judgement is such a strange thing.

I think sometimes our judgement of others keep us from seeing just how big God can be. How do we rank or judge people. Is it their clothes, their car, the way they talk?

Do you see a girl with a nose ring and automatically decide she is a rebel and loves heavy metal music? Do you see a tattoo and automatically assume that person drive a harley and drinks alot of beer? Do you see a bi-racial couple and cringe? We shouldn't - see these things are not sins - these things are things that society has put out there as acceptable or not.

The Bible teaches us in Luke 6:37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Sometimes we want to look on the outside of a situation and put our judgement on it. Maybe that girl with the nose ring is a grad-student who will make a difference to our country one day. Maybe that tattoo has a significance to that man that gives him hope everytime he sees it. Maybe that family has more love in it than you could ever know and if your mind were more open, would be happy to share it with you.

What about the other side of judgement. Do you see a man in a business suit and assume he has his life together? When a family is walking down the lane with a stroller and a five-year old on a bike, do we automatically go, "Awww, how sweet". ? Do we look at preachers and teachers and elected officials and automatically assume they should be 'perfect' people?

See, judgement can be negative even when we think we are being positive. Maybe that man is crook and stole from his employer today. Maybe that family is on the brink of divorce because of infidelity. Maybe that community leader is just a person like us with faults and needs.

When we judge people either positively or negatively we take away God's ability to give us discernment into how to pray. If we take off our judges cloak and ask God to show us people's hearts and intentions, then we can pray for them as God would want us to.

Galations 2:6 says
"As for those who seemed to be important—whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance . . ."We should not have agenda's when we bring something to the Lord. We should be asking him to help us to see past our human weaknesses and to pray for our family, friends and neighbors just like he would want us to. . .

In 1st Corinthians 4:5 we read "Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God." See, God does not need our help in deciding who is worthy of His Love and His Salvation. It is our job to show forth His love so that people want to know more about him.

One of the most interesting scriptures I found brings me to my final point. Why don't we judge ourselves with the same yardstick we do others? Are we easier on ourselves or our kids or our husbands that on a family down the street? Let's read 1st Corninthians 11:31 "But if we judged ourselves, we would not come under judgment." How is that for God telling us like it is. . Let's remember to judge others as we would judge ourselves and to seek God's discernment about all situations and He will give us the answers we are seeking.

Have a blessed Thursday!


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

It's a Girl! > > > LOL

Well, if babies without move able parts that cry on cue and only coo 'if' you bounce them for exactly 12 minutes count, then I am a grandmother.

Logan brought this thing home for the 'baby think it over' project in school. I am not a fan of said project but it was the baby or a 500 page report and he really wanted to do the baby instead. So, here it is. . . my granddaughter Dawn (he named her after my middle name, how quaint) and my son Logan...He is very attentive at the moment but just wait til she cries for the fourth or fifth time at 5 am. . .

Wow....What a Day!

Today, is not a good day. My online faxing is not working and everything I set to do is going wrong. My work phone is on the fritz and I cannot get anything accomplished work-wise.

I had a melt down before Brad went to work and even threw my stapler across the room (not at anyone, of course, just so frustrated). My wonderful husband shooed me away from my computer so that I could go get a bite to eat and veg out while he got things fixed. I went to the fridge and as I opened the door, stuff just starting falling out, out rolled 3 cans of Dr. Pepper and 2 bottles of Gaterade. . I just left them on the floor and walked to teh living room with my garlic bagel chips. See, now that I am writing this it seems funny. Funny was not how it felt three hours ago.

So, Brad found me a new fax service which is awesome and after having my carmel dipped green apples, I decided I would come on back and give work another shot. Alas, yes alas, that is a good word for my day. . . now my phone wont hold a charge and I can't get it to come on. I know I probably have 15 messages (that's no joke) from clients checking the progress of their cases and my hands are tied until I can get my phone back up and running. I am going with God had a different purpose for me today instead of being buried in paperwork, or he has at least wants me to find humor in the irritations of this day.

In the midst of it all, my husband sent me the sweetest, most loving email. In thie middle of this horrible day, my friend was here for me! I am so lucky!

This afternoon, I am probably going to be a 'grandmother'..LOL. . .Today Logan is supposed to bring home his 'baby think it over' . . He is stoked about it. He has names picked out and everything. . . I hope he is as excited when it wakes him up at 3am. . .because I'm not getting up with it. . I will fill you in on that later.

Where We've Been / Where We're Going

Update on Brad:

Pre surgery Weight: 415

Surgery Weight: 400

Weight today: 361

Here are some before and aft pictures too.

This Picture was two days before Surgery, October 20th

This picture was taken October 31st

And this last one was on November 14th

Monday, November 17, 2008

Be Still and Know

Sometimes circumstances happen and we cannot, as my husband is fond of saying, see the forest for the trees. Sometimes things come at you so quickly you don't know how or why and for us, as women, we tend to react the wrong way. That is one reason I am so thankful to have a strong husband. Brad is such a God-Sent man in my life. To imagine my life without him in it is unspeakable, unfathomable.

When Bill and I divorced the Summer of 2004; I thought my life was over. I had prayed and cried and begged God to fix my marriage. I had made mistakes and so had Bill and I could not for the life of me figure out why it would just not be fixed. Needless to say, it didn't fix, so there I was, scared and confused, alone for the first time since I was 15 years old, I had spent 1/2 my life loving one person, 1/2 my life as a wife.

What was I supposed to do now? Blame God, that was the answer. So, I blamed God and decided marriage was not for me. I had tried it and it had failed miserably and now, I would just be alone, forever. . .

With that decision firmly in place, I began to date and 'enjoy' my new found singleness. I made a new friend, this guy named Brad, who was crazy and funny and ran a non-profit group for kids. He was a hoot! My girlfriends thought he was hilarious, my co-workers said he was smitten by me. I just said nah, he's my friend. And he was, for a long time, as a matter of fact, he is still my best friend today. He is there in every moment of struggle and when questions haunt my mind. He is my rock and he is steady in every storm.

Of course, we became more than friends and on May 13, 2006, we started our life as TEAMDEASON. . . That is what we are, a team. We make decisions together, we laugh together, we cry together, we pray together and we raise our family together. We have fought storms together: child custody battles, bankruptcy, job loss, loss of friends, career changes and car repossessions. We have also had many victories together: renewed relationships, new jobs, promotions, new friends, and blessings that cannot even be explained.

Recently we were so blessed for someone to give Brad the funds for him to have is Gastric Bypass surgery. He had his surgery on October 22nd and as of today, he has lost 39 lbs. I have never been so proud of him or for him. He is doing the right things with his food and his workouts and he is taking full advantage of this tool he has been blessed with. As our Pastor said Sunday, with great blessings, come great challenges.

Just one day after we returned home from Brad's surgery, I was hit with a very spiritual attack. I was not sure what was up or down. Where I should be or what I should do. But you know what my rock said? "Be still, God has got this" "We just have to wait and see what He says, not what we say". .

So, reluctantly, I listened. And fervently, we prayed. "Please God, show us your path." "Please God, show us your face." "Please God, we want Your will, not ours. "

Not overnight, not the first week, but gradually we have begun to see the light and that we were in the right place and that God's timing is always perfect. Sometimes I think God puts things in our path that we don't necessarily like to see how we react, or how others react. Sometimes I think God allows things in our path so we can get on our knees and really seek him. The bible teaches us "Seek Him while He may be found". God is not lost, but a lot of times we are.

On the hardest day of this trial I was in the prayer room at church. As I cried and prayed, I said Lord, I feel lost. Not unsaved, just lost. I feel like I have no direction and You have to show me the way. The way was to be still and be attentive and to know that we are in the palm of his hand.

I am thankful that God helped me through this hard time and I am ever so unworthy of the wonderful husband that He sent me. I have been re-reading some books by Stormy O'Martin where she really emphasizes praying into your life using God's Word. It is a powerful thing! We can pray for our families this way and see real change come forth. I remember when I first started asking God to create a desire in Brad to be a true spiritual leader. That was hard for me, because I am not a follower for the most part. Past hurts have caused me to want to control situations for the protection of my heart.

God began to answer those prayers and then I was not sure I wanted Him to. I soon realized that for Brad to be the leader, I had to be a follower. God works all things for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, so I knew that I must put my money where my mouth was and not only trust Brad, but trust God.

I am so Glad I Did!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Comfort Food

It seems that fall/winter is the time for comfort foods. Last night I made a batch of Wassail and tonight we are having our friends over for homemade potato soup and ragin' cajun sandwiches. I thought I would share these recipes that have been shared over our dinner table in the past and forever more in the future...ENJOY

Wassail: Makes enough for 20 people - you can also freeze half of it and use later if you have a smaller crowd.

  • 1 Gallon Apple Cider
  • 24 Whole Cloves
  • 4-6 Cinnamon Sticks
  • 1 Quart Orange Juice
  • 1 Cup Lemon Juice
  • 1 Large Can Pine-apple Juice
  • 1 Cup of Sugar

Mix all ingredients in a large pot and simmer on low-med on the stove until warm. you can also crock pot this to keep it warm and soothing.

Home Made Potato Soup: This makes a good sized pot. Now honestly, I don't do too much measuring so, just use your best judgement. . .
  • 10 Lb. Potatoes
  • 1/2 Gallon of 1/2 n 1/2
  • 2 Lb. Velveeta Cheese
  • 1 Large Onion
  • 1 Stick of butter
  • 32 Oz. Sour Cream
  • Shredded Cheese
  • Chives
  • Bacon Bits
  1. Peel and dice potatoes. Boil potatoes and onions until they are done but still have some firmness. Drain all the water but enough to cover the potatoes and onions. Throw the stick of butter and about 1/2 of the half-n-half in and stir. Put on the stove on low. stir often but don't mash up potatoes, be careful.
  2. In a medium sized bowl, take the cubed velveeta and 1/2 cup of the half-n-half and put in microwave to melt (over the years, I have discovered this works best and cuts scorching down tremendously) (You can also melt down in a double boiler if you wish.)
  3. After cheese is melted really well in to a cream state (you may want to add some more half-n-half) add the mixture to the pot of potatoes and other ingredients. Stir well.
  4. Take the sour cream and mix a bit at a time in a side bowl with the remaining half-n-half until it is creamy and ready to add to the pot. Add the rest of these ingredients to the pot and mix together well.
  5. Warm on low or put in a crock pot or double boiler to prevent scorching. Dress with shredded cheese, fresh or dried chives and bacon bits....YUMMY!
Ragin' Cajun Sandwiches: My friend Mandy and I created these when I had a little restaurant/catering businesss and they are a hit with the soup or alone.

  • Shaved Cajun Roast Beef (found in Deli, you can use regular if you cant find it)
  • Swiss Cheese Slices
  • Peppers (Green or Red)
  • White Onion
  • Jalepenos (if desired)
  • Hoagie Rolls
  1. In a skillet take 1/2 stick butter (or Pam if you are healthly minded) and saute the sliced onion, jaelepenos and peppers (red is prettier but green is fine cuz they taste the same and are cheaper..LOL).
  2. While this is melding together, cut the hoagie rolls in 1/2 and butter. Toast in the oven under the broiler.
  3. Remove bread from oven and place 2-3 oz. of roast beef on each roll. Top with the sauted mixture. Put a slice of swiss cheese on top and then the top bun. Wrap in aluminum foil and put in oven on warm for about 5 minutes, or just put back on baking sheet and watch closely.
  4. These do great cut in half with a large bowl of soup. Another option is to do ham or turkey with this cheese or pepperjack.

Sweet Treat brownies:
  1. make brownies according to package directions
  2. Take 1 small jar of marshmellow cream and 1 bar of cream cheese and blend together. Spread mixture over brownies.
  3. Top with fresh cut strawberries.
Everyone have a great, food-filled weekend

Thursday, November 13, 2008


Have you ever said that? Enough Already! I know I have! I've said it in the heat of arguments, I have said it when my kids are fighting with each other, I have said it to the Lord when I think I cannot take another minute of a trial or a test. Usually we say "Enough Already" in frustration. Laying in bed this morning, the Lord brought the Chris Tomlin song "Your Grace is Enough" to my mind. Chris wrote this song based on II Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness".

So today, as I feel a little laggy and actually overwhelmed by the work on my plate (thank you God for blessing me in my job) I have to look to Him and realize that I have "enough already". I have to really rely on the fact that his 'grace is sufficient' or 'enough'. . that in my weakness (ADD and the want to do nothing because I have so much to do) His Strength can find perfection in that. That is overwhelming to know that God knows our weakness and wants us to say, you know, I have enough already. Enough Grace, Enough Love, Enough Strength, Enough Reliance on God - to get through this day.

I promise I did not intend for these blogs to seem like devotions, but that seems to be the theme right now. Maybe these blogs are my communication with the Lord and I just happen to be sharing them with you, the reader. I just know that I woke up with this today and couldn't shake it off, so I thought if I'd just type it out, it would help me get my day going in the right direction.

Speaking of right direction, I lost another pound today..WOOT! Since my biggest, I have now lost 23 lbs and went from size 20 pants to a comfortable 16 (and a not so comfortable - some 14's). . anyway, I'm gettting there, slowly but surely. . and that's enough already!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Coming up to breath

Okay, So, we have been going to the gym since the first week in October. We have walked and worked out in the pool and really noticed it working us out. Well, tonight was like the boot camp of all boot camps. Our gym guy, Raymond, kicked my butt..well actually my arms and abs and then forced me onto some cardio. I still can't breathe well and it is twenty minutes later.

He started Brad on some weights for his upper body and he was so toasted he couldn't lift his arms when he was done. We are so out of shape that it is not even funny. The one good thing about going to the gym is that we go as a family. Logan runs around the gym (like he needs to work out) and plays basketball or gets on the treadmill. Cait favors the stationary bike.

I, favor laziness, which of course, is not a God Chaser kind of thing to be. So this is a growth area for me, I can see right now. I literally prayed for about 5 minutes of my cardio just to get through it. I hope as we go through this weight loss journey that I can embrace this with motivation and strive to be in the best physical shape possible.

Please pray with me regarding communicating with my daughter. It seems like she is more like me daily, and we get along less and less. I know some of this is to be expected, she is fifteen years old, but there has got to be room for harmony in this as well. I pray that God gives me the patience and the understanding to communicate my love for her in a constructive way. It is such a huge task to be a mother and to try to impart responsibility and love and loyalty and understanding to a teenage girl. I didn't learn these things until way too late in life and i don't want her to struggle like I have, but I guess to some extent, we all have to find our own path in our own time.

"God, please help me to be all that you want me to be, to my family and friends and help me be a light to others. Please let them see Your reflection in me!"

Good Night

God Chasing

Well, today I took the plunge into blogging. I really have to thank my friend, Jen Henson for this. I have been playing with the idea of it all but until I saw her take the leap, I had been holding back. If you know me at all, which I'm sure you do or you won't be here, you know I never cease for things to say. Sometimes I have good things to say and sometimes it is just ramblings.

However, I am at a point in my life where I love it. I love how I am watching God move in my life as I seek Him more. My blog is Psalm 105:4 which says simply "Seek the Lord, and His strength: Seek His face evermore." It is my belief that if we do this, truly do this, He will show us the changes we need to make in our life. It is my belief that God created us with the desire within to serve Him with all we are. Some of us get lost along the way, caught up in a variety of things: family, love, work, friendships, school and even religion.

See, religion is not a relationship with Jesus Christ. Religion is a set of ideals that people profess to believe, and truly, probably all religions have good points in them somewhere. It is not my desire to be religious. It is my desire to seek God's face in my life, so that other people can see Him when they see me. I read a quote once that said - "Don't worry about what others think of you, only worry about what others think of Him when they think of you".

Many people reading this have known me in stages of my life, so to some of you, I say sorry. I am sorry you knew me when I did not have this outlook on life because you knew a way different me than I am today. For those who have watched me change, I say thank you. Thank you for being in my life when I was the metamorphasis of my life. There are many things I probably should have done different, but that is in the past. For those who just know me now, I say you are lucky. The old me was not near as fun and way more high strung (if you could imagine that). Very quick to anger and opinionated to the point of being irritating.

I am thankful that God has seen fit to bring me down the path of life He chose for me. The mistakes of the pasts help to shape my decisions for my future and I am thankful for Every scar and every hurt that have made me who I am today, these things have made me. . . . a God Seeker.

Have a blessed day!