Well, somehow I lost two hours while on the couch this afternoon. Maybe it was the greyness of the day, or the warmth of the throw but I was out like a light. It is so odd to drift off to sleep and then awaken in the dark and think, just for that second, where am I and how did I get here. That little jog back into reality gives you cause to look around the house, make sure the kids are good and the doors properly fastened. Of course, I discovered Caitlin is STILL shopping with her friends and Logan is still at the computer and Brad went back to work after his lunch, so all is well in the castle we call Deason. No need to let the dragon out to slay something in the moat, all is well, all is well.
It has been a while since I blogged and I have missed it. Some mornings I sit down to do it and so many thoughts go through my head, I am not sure which one to go with, not sure if the emotions I am feeling should go on paper (i.e. the internet) for the world to see. I can't imagine blogging and then going back two hours later to try and delete a thought and hope no one read it yet. I have figured out something great about blogging that I am sure my husband prays daily I will apply to my oral communication. Be careful what you say, your words mean something. It is easier when we talk to not care if we mean something, but when the words are in stone, it feels different.
I was mad at my husband this morning. Usual man stuff, just not 'helping' me the way he should, in my so humble opinion. I didn't want to like him, I did love him though. As the day wore on, the anger faded and I found myself almost disappointed, do you ever feel that way? Like you want to be mad and maybe pick a fight to see if you can win it? That is the mood I had on this morning. So we were instant messaging and he said something funny and I told him, "Quit trying to make me like you" to which he has some witty, stupid comment and before I knew it, not only did I like him again, but I was laughing and wishing that our morning had been better. That was a 'piece of life' that I can never get back as my husband likes to say. Was it worth being mad and not communicating and spending time together? No. . This same husband whom I fell asleep on during his lunch break, instructed Logan"Let your mom sleep". Now I am going with this was done in love and not in hopes that after a nap I would be more pleasant to be around..LOL
I've included a picture from last Sunday, December 14th. We are starting to look smaller (especially him). He started before the surgery at 416 and last Saturday(weigh day) he was 341 so he is down 75 lbs. now. Which is awesome and crazy at the same time.
Also I have included, as one of my friends calls it, (thanks stu) a shameless plug for the sermon Brad preached on Sunday. The message can be found here at http://www.churchofchampions.com/current_series_at_church_of_champions.html
As I have discussed before, I know I am not the poster child for preacher's wives, nor do I think I want to be. I think that those of us who have a relationship with Christ need to grow and accept people for who they are and not what we think they should be. For those who don't know Christ, is important that those of us who don't quite fit the mold of 'Sunday school teacher' ' pastor's wife' 'sanctified sally' can show the world the Love of Christ and let them know that it takes loud mouths and people who are not perfect to round out the posse for Jesus. I am proud of who I am and I have grown and learned a lot in the last 4 years. I have learned about who I am and who I want to be.
My husband said on Sunday, when you say you want to be a God Chaser and you sincerely mean it, then God is going to start cutting the things out of your life that keep you from putting Him first. This was my favorite thing. I am excited that I can look at my life and see the parts that God is cutting out and filling in with His plan for me.
I hope everyone has a wonderfully blessed Christmas and a prosperous New Year, just in case I get lazy and don't blog before then.
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