Rough Patches are for Sanding

I've been going through a 'rough patch' in my home. By definition a rough patch is to experience a lot of problems in a period in your life. I would say that pretty much is dead on for me right now. Maybe 'rough patch' is too harsh really, maybe its just a period of adjustment that has me thinking this through so much.

I think that in this time of crossroads where Brad & I are working together now, building our business, getting ready to move to Nashville, getting the kids' their school interviews for fall, being in Nashville, on average, three days a week, trying to balance that and our quality time is really not working. This transitional time has been pretty hard on me because although I am excited about the changes going on, I don't always deal with change well and right now, everything is changing. Everything!

So many changes, so many concerns, so much to budget, to juggle, to decide, to discuss, to manage, to figure out, and taking no time to enjoy glancing over the top of our plates at a dinner table or a quick hug as we go out the door. People have always picked on Brad & I for our lovey dovey ways and honestly, I have always had a great sense of pride in the fact that we are best friends and that we do always have that spark with each other. Over the last little bit, the spark has gave way to comfort and being so used to seeing each other 24/7 that we haven't had time to miss each other or be excited to see the other person arrive. We wake up together, work together, eat together, cook together, look at houses together, etc. You get the idea.

It made me sad last week as I thought about it and I told Brad, "This is no fun, I feel like, for the first time in six years, we are old married people". This is not who we are, we have let ourselves become this way the last 5 months because we are stressed, over worked and tired and this has made us lazy about one of the most important aspects of our lives, each other.

Today, the scripture, Phillipians 4:6 came to my mind about our situation "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Our marriages are, besides our relationship with God, the most important relationships on this earth. With our marriages we show the world around us what an example of a christian marriage is, we teach our children how to be parents and team mates, we show each other the value that we truly have. I have renewed sense of awareness that my marriage will not fall by the wayside of bills and decisions and problems that just won't matter in two weeks. I will cherish how lucky and blessed I am to be married to my best friend and instead of complaining about our life being to boring, find ways to make it not.

Rough Patches are good, because they help us realize that something needs our attention before it's too late. Rough Patches are God's way of saying, Hey, Look over there and sand that down and get back on a smooth path. I am so thankful that He allows me to learn lessons through everything I go through and that He cares for our souls so much!

Blessings,

Shelly

A lesson from the Water

I did some research this morning on freezing and thawing ~ it is so strange to me that we as people completely buck the process that God designed.

I remember being a newlywed and our freezer did not have self defrost, much less an ice maker. Stacking those ice trays ups and checking them way too often would be so frustrating to that 17 year old girl. What was even more frustrating is opening the freezer and there being ice trays in there with no ice and no water at all. Refilling ice trays was not my strong suite. I wish I had known about $5 bags of ice from sonic back then. Anyway, my research today showed me that four typical ice trays put into the freezer at room temperature take 10 hours to freeze. As the molecules of the water get colder and colder they expand and grow larger until they are those chunks of ice.

That typical piece of ice, though, takes on average less than 2 hours to thaw. I don’t know the science on this, but in view of life events I find it interesting. God in all His wisdom made water to thaw faster than he made it to freeze. Can we humans take a lesson from the water? It seems that God has used water for ever to try and teach us lessons.

Genesis 7:17-19 ..and it continued forty days upon the earth; and the waters increased, and bore up the ark, and it rose high above the earth. The waters prevailed and increased greatly upon the earth; and the ark floated on the face of the waters. And the waters prevailed so mightily upon the earth that all the high mountains under the whole heaven were covered."

Exodus 2:5-6 "Now the daughter of Pharaoh came down to bathe at the river, and her maidens walked beside the river; she saw the basket among the reeds and sent her maid to fetch it. When she opened it she saw the child; and lo, the babe was crying. She took pity on him and said, "This is one of the Hebrews' children...And the child grew, and she brought him to Pharaoh's daughter, and he became her son; and she named him Moses, for she said, "Because I drew him out of the water."

Exodus 7:19 The LORD said to Moses, "Tell Aaron, 'Take your staff and stretch out your hand over the waters of Egypt--over the streams and canals, over the ponds and all the reservoirs'--and they will turn to blood. Blood will be everywhere in Egypt, even in the wooden buckets and stone jars."

Exodus 14:21 states, "And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea; and the LORD caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided." Verse 24 says, "And it came to pass, that in the morning watch the LORD looked unto the host of the Egyptians through the pillar of fire and of the cloud, and troubled the host of the Egyptians."

Exodus 17:4-5 4 Then Moses cried out to the LORD, "What am I to do with these people? They are almost ready to stone me." 5 The LORD answered Moses, "Walk on ahead of the people. Take with you some of the elders of Israel and take in your hand the staff with which you struck the Nile, and go. 6 I will stand there before you by the rock at Horeb. Strike the rock, and water will come out of it for the people to drink." So Moses did this in the sight of the elders of Israel. 7 And he called the place Massah and Meribah because the Israelites quarreled and because they tested the LORD saying, "Is the LORD among us or not?

Matthew 14:22-33 Jesus walks on the water

John 2:1-5 1 Now on the third day there was a wedding at Cana in Galilee.89 Jesus’ mother was there,90 2 and both Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the wedding. 3 When the wine ran out, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no wine left.” 4 Jesus replied, “Woman, why are you saying this to me? My time has not yet come.” 5 His mother told the servants, “Whatever he tells you, do it.

John 4:14 "but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst; the water that I shall give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to Eternal Life."

What has been amazing to me is that when God controls the water there is a lesson in it. When we experience hurts we freeze automatically, we don’t take 10 hours to puff up and let our hearts get hard. It is as instantaneous as the water was turned to wine. We have an automatic icemakers in our minds and hearts and when we experience hurt it is much like that magic shell chocolate we used to use a kids. It hardens around us immediately and is unyielding.

But our thawing process is slow and tenuous. It takes prayer and understanding and hugs and friends to let those guards down. God forbid we get hurt while we are thawing because then our hearts and minds become the human version of the frozen tundra. Layers upon layers of frozen fears and hurts and scabs just pile onto the old ones until we wonder where the first frozen layer even is. Our only hope is to let the God of heaven thaw us from the inside out, to let the miracle of him control our ‘water’ like He has done so aptly since the beginning of time.
As I watched in awe and somewhat horror (just being honest) as my husband smiled and shook someone’s hand yesterday that had brought much pain to our family, I was witnessing a thaw. A thaw of hope and a thaw of mercy that created a thaw of it’s own in my heart. I had never been more proud to say my husband was a person of character and someone I can call my rock and my strength. I pray that God continues to thaw us into what He wants us to be and if you have ice around your heart and your mind, just take it to Him and ask him to THAW you out; that is my prayer today. Let’s be like the ice and be easier to thaw than to be frozen. Let’s be who God desires us to be.

The Lion is Weeping

There is a story about some friends who shared a bond that not many others had shared with them. I am thinking of these friends today. These friends were 'forever friends' ~ friends who at one time meant the world to each other. Whether they were talking about ants in their eyes, or eating dinner from a grill where the cook singed his eyebrows, these friends knew how to laugh and supposedly, how to love. These friends used to belong to me and today, I miss them, today I am sad, today, the Lion is Weeping.

When I let myself get sad for friendships lost I have to remember that Jesus, the ultimate Lion of Judah was betrayed and hurt and killed for the love He had for others. He made the ultimate love sacrifice and the Lion wept. Ultimately the Lion conquered sin and was raised from the dead to give us life eternally and when I think of this sacrifice, it makes my sacrifices and hurts and trials seem so trivial. How do I still miss the friends who betrayed me? Jesus, the true Lion of Judah is in my heart and He guides me through this sadness and brings me to the hope of the resurrection and lets me know that my suffering and shame are going to be trivial as I conquer the sin in my life and draw closer to Him.

It has been almost a year, a crazy, unpredictable, year since these hurts started and tomorrow as we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus I am determined in my heart that this Lion will weep no more, I will forget those things which are behind me and run the race that God has set before me.

Blessings,

Shelly

A God Shaped Hole ~ Only He Can Fill It

Today we were invited to share our ministry or our story through Kelly’s blog and I decided to put it all out there. Many times I have wondered how my situations and circumstances can help others and what these times have meant to me as a person and how these things could possibly help others.

I truly believe that God uses our circumstances and situations for His good when we let Him. I was born in 1973 to a very young mother who got pregnant out of wedlock and got married because she was pregnant. When I was almost 2; my mother was murdered and my whole life changed. My dad was young and irresponsible so my grandmother got custody of me.

Thus should have become my happy ending. Young girl raised by her grandparents, right? Um, No ~ My grandfather molested my cousin and me for years when we were kids and then when we finally told my grandmother; she got us family counseling but never divorced him. Every day I lived with my abuser and felt like I was not important enough to make the choice to not live with a child molester. Every day I wondered why my life was this, my search for being good enough led me to seek love from a very early age.

By the age of 17, I was married and still the void was there. There was this part of me that was always looking for more, but not knowing what it was. My beautiful babies came in 1993 and 1995 and the is love was different, a love I had not known before; a love that was different than any other love. But even still, there was a deep unhappiness in me that could not be explained.

I guess by now I should have already said that I grew up in church; I grew up always knowing about God, always hearing about God, always thinking I was a Christian, always wearing the title but never really knowing God, knowing Him in the glory of His power and in the beauty of his wonder.

In 2004, as my marriage fell apart I blamed God. I blamed him for the abuse, for my mom dying, for an unfaithful spouse, for all my shortcomings in life. I turned completely away from Him because I felt He had failed me in every way possible. I decided I could do just as well on my own as I had with God; not knowing that I really had not experienced Him for myself.

I met a great guy, who became my best friend and my love. I knew then that my life was complete. I knew that now I needed nothing. Except that there was a missing piece still, there was a hole that could not be filled. There is a great song out right now and one of my favorite lines goes like this. . “there is a God Shaped hole in all of us”. See that was my problem; I had this hole that only God could fill and it took me 30+ years to realize it.

The last six years have been the best of my life even though we have faced so many financial and emotional hardships but everyone of those have brought us closer to God. The day that I realized the God shaped hole could only be filled by God was the best day of my life. As you read through my other blogs you will see the path we have walked the last few years, struggling to find employment, walking through bankruptcy, suffering through hurt in ministry, having been victims of identity theft. All of this that we have went through I can see now is for God’s Glory and for us to be a help to those who are facing those same situations today and to let them know that as you let God fill that hole in your heart He can walk you through any fire.

Blessings,

Shelly

FIFTEEN YEARS AGO

FIFTEEN YEARS OLD

It is hard to believe that it was a year ago that I wrote this here.

Kids grow so fast and it is amazing to see what a year brings. My baby will be 15 years old tomorrow and is a Freshman in high school. It seems like yesterday when I could feel his little feet press against the inside of my belly so hard that you could see his foot print on my stomach.
It seems like about an hour ago that his chubby cheeks would pop as his smile showed the first four teeth he got and that, even then, he was flirty with all the ladies.

As I read back over the post from last year, I realized that Logan really is growing up ~ he is singing in the choir at HHS and has a solo in the spring concert. He continues to play the piano some but has found he likes the guitar better. The noises from his room actually sound like music so that is a good thing.

Although he is growing up, he still has those boyish tendencies that really never go away. He has the aptitude to make me laugh, cry, smile and curse in about a 10 minute time frame and is quite proud of that. He is a button pusher in the largest way, especially toward his sister. But when push comes to shove, he has her back and she knows it.
So happy birthday to my pride and joy, the one who makes me shake my head in amazement and frustration and makes me proud to be his mama.

Blessed ~ Beyond Measure

I know it has been a while since I have blogged and all I have to say today is that I am blessed beyond measure to lead the life I have.

Be a blessing and have a blessed day~

Shelly

Growing Up, Moving On. . .

With the holidays behind us, I think back on what they meant to me growing up. Because of my extended, dysfunctional family, there were more Christmas celebrations you could count on one hand.

There was Memaw Bertha's house which reeked of turnip greens on the stove and there were always a ton of presents under her tree. It didn't matter that most of them came from Woolworth and they weren't on 'your list' ~ Memaw Bertha always had something for everyone that came in her door. The food there was not the best so we always went right for Papaw Wallaces red velvet cake, which he made with his pipe sticking out of the left side of his face. This was the house where we could get by with just about anything and if a grown up fussed at us, well Memaw would say 'leave those babies alone'. We always went here on lunch on Christmas Eve because it was her birthday and because it fit into the many places we needed to go.

Christmas Eve night was spent with my Meme's family. We either went to Meme's or out to Aunt Lindas and here the food was the best. Deviled eggs, ham, fresh fruit, cheese log, german chocolate cake and as I mentioned about Thanksgiving, Meme's chocolate pie. Usually she made three of them and there was barely any left. Here, us kids drew names and we usually stayed up late playing games and just being stupid in general.

Christmas Day always began at home with whatever 'Santa' left under the tree. See, there were the unwrapped 'santa' gifts and then there were the wrapped gifts. Way too much stuff under the tree and so spoiled and we did not even realize it.

That afternoon I would go to with my Dad to Granny Millie's. She had been up cooking since 5am and the ham was to die for although the canned biscuits were always burned. Granny Millie got stuff off our list and tried to make sure we had whatever we wanted.

These days all of us kids have grown up and with Memaw Bertha and Meme gone on to be with the Lord, the family has splintered into so many parts that it is hard for us all to get together. I know this, Christmas for us, is being together as a family. Whatever that means.

This year; it meant having Christmas on December 23rd with my exhusband Bill, my Mom, the Kids and us at my moms. The kids were so excited to spend Christmas with both of their parents and we were happy to do it for them.

Christmas Eve was a drive by to Granny Millies for the kids to get their gifts on our way to Illinois to Brad's family's where we spend Christmas Day and came back home on the 26th.

On the 30th; we had our 'Meme's Christmas' pretty much food and hanging out at my moms.

I love the holidays but I am always glad when they are over. I am working on a year in review post and some goals for this year. .talk to you soon.

Shelly